To Be or Not to Be.....

That is the question.

When I decided to grow out my relaxer and wear my hair natural, it was strictly because I wanted to. That's right, it's that simple.  Now, I did go through what some naturals go through, as far as....tired of being in the salon for 4 hours at least (every 2 weeks), realizing that those chemicals have wreaked havoc on my natural curls over the 15 plus years and getting to the point where enough was enough!

Let's go back back for a moment.....,

I can remember being 6 years old and sitting on a pillow on the floor, in between my mom's legs and she's drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette ( her nerve calming combo, to be able to do the task at hand) and she's fussing that my hair is just too thick and it doesn't help that I'm tender headed (yep...still today!) So, at the ripe old age of 7 maybe 8 , I got my very first "Just for me" relaxer (maybe its a texturizer, not sure) and my " creamy crack" journey began. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't blame my mom, she was only doing what she knew to do at the time. Her hair texture is soft and fine like cotton.  My hair was just like Rudy Huxtable, so needless to say this posed quite a challenge.  I must admit that I really liked the fact that those routine Sunday night hair rituals became less intense for both my mom and myself. I wasn't getting hit in the head with the comb (did I mention I'm tender headed...lol) and my hair was long and I liked it.  This is where the addiction comes into play....

Going through the teen and yearly adult years, I did everything wrong to my hair ( now.. I know) and even though I always made sure it looked good , it was so unhealthy but it looked good so what did I care ( oh.. the wisdom of youth). I got my relaxers and made sure that there wasn't any sign of a kink anywhere. I realized, I love short hair and so I kept it short. I've had all of the trendy haircuts...The Anita Baker (Sweet Love), The Halle Berry (Boomerang) The asymmetrical (Salt-n-Pepa) and right before my big chop, The Spiked Halle Berry. I wasn't trying to look like those ladies, I just loved those cuts and I rocked them to a tee. But, honey don't let that "kitchen" get kinky. I was at the salon like clock work to make sure that my hair was laying as it should. I kept my comb nearby at all times. I could finish my hair and spritz it down and get in the car and pull the mirror down to make sure my hair was still in place (how sad is that). I became a slave to my hair. It kept me from living( no swimming,no working out too hard...you get the point). My husband, who's the most patient man, would get so frustrated with me and my hair. But, funny enough I was getting frustrated with me and my hair! And here's where the change begins....